Wzhn Allie

( This is a rant post. )

Unhappy. All the SMU people on my facebook timeline are updating their statuses on how hard they are mugging, and exchanging emails on exam stuff and I'm like... what . is. going. on ?? I feel so terrible about myself you know. I definitely don't belong here. Even if I endure through the next 2.5 years, my GPA won't get me anywhere. I'm a failure T_T 

But what made me more sad was that I chanced upon this girl's profile and she is so unhealthily thin. She's so fragile. And it broke my heart even though I don't know her in person. She looks 30kg at most? It must be so painful having to go through shit. And she has a boyfriend, whom I happen to be friends with. He must really love her shit load. He is seriously crazy over her. I have heard nothing but how devoted he is to her. And then I look at her, and she's just, this stick, I mean, NO MEAT AT ALL. Curiosity got me clicking all the way to her older pictures and she was so much prettier when she was fleshier. ( still super thin but at least got a bit of meat ) I never knew there were still guys like that these days. Guys these days. Fuck and throw. I shall not generalise but that's really what most guys are like these days. Of course girls now are also more open... zzzz (  Side track a little, 2 days back, I heard this story about this scene kid who lost her virginity at the age of 12. LOL. LAUGH OUT FUCKING LOUD. 12? Primary 6? I first held a guy's hand when I was 17. LMAO. Primary 6 I was wearing singlet? HAHA. I didn't know what a boner was. I still believed babies were made from kisses. I didn't know ANYTHING, and someone lost her virginity willingly at 12. ok. I'm only 20 and I feel like I can't keep up with this world anymore ) Anyway yah, I just think the guy is damn damn.... good. So damn good. 

Not that I don't think what I have is good you know? I pretty much understand how to treasure and cherish people, but the problem with me is that I give up too easily. I don't try hard enough, and I have this whole chunk of negative thoughts permanently manifesting in my mind. And because of this, I know I'm going to ruin it one day, I just know it. Why? Because I'm always the spoiler as usual~ Life. 

Bleak.

k rant over.