Love's not always black and white

I'm in this perpetual cycle of falling for someone completely opposite of me--> falling in love --> getting attached --> getting way too attached --> recall that we won't work out--> act nonchalant --> finds trouble out of nothing --> starts creating distance --> feel bad --> cannot imagine living without you --> back to square one --> repeats cycle 10 times --> boy finally leaves ( since "thats what you wanted all along" ) --> girl regrets --> girl cries --> boy leaves-- > girl has never truly wanted to leave.